Helloo, how is everyone?
I know it's been a long time since I have had a decent deviation or an informative journal entry so I'll just tell you guys how I've been..the deviation part could be a while considering I have the worst artists' block at the moment

I'm certainly far more positive than I was a month ago and I am so used to expressing negativity in my art rather than positivity in it if that makes any sense

And it's bloody hard to come up with anything now. And if I do I can't draw it

I'm just worried because my artwork is what a want to make a living out of and I can't have a creativity block all the bloody time. It's frustrating
But as I was saying..emotionally I am so much better than before

I'm not comparing myself to other people anymore. I'm not starving myself to death anymore. I'm not self-loathing and suicidal anymore. And I'm feeling far more confident. Just the constant negativity, ridiculous pressures I put on my self, perfectionism, anxiety..obsessing over absolutely everything..it's just a total waste of a time. It's not like I don't have days where I feel down but it's an improvement I've made on myself, by myself and I'm proud of that

It's a great feeling to be able to live with yourself for once
School is going well. My grades are above average in some classes and below my best effort in others...something I could improve on. I've fallen out with a few people but I've also become good friends with some people

It's also kinda good to get out and be social

I'm not going to bother going into much depth about my "emotional struggles" and what not cos I'm probably boring everyone
So yeah..life is certainly better at the moment. I hope you are all doing well. Just so everyone is aware I don't think I'll be submiting any of my recent pieces but maybe some older work or some unfinished work until I can come up with something
And considering I didn't submit a journal for the last few celebrations we've had lately...Happy Australia Day, Valentines Day, St Patricks Day, April Fools, Friday 13th, ANZAC Day etc.
Take care
Michelle
xx

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